Homily in Celebration of the Life of May Gibson

Delivered by The Rev. Sam Frazier, Vicar

Saint Andrew’s Episcopal Church, Haw River, NC

December 2, 2008
On November 1, 1995, Bishop Robert Johnson appointed me to serve as Vicar of Saint Andrew’s Church.  After the Eucharist, the first person who came up to me to welcome me and Arthur was May.  At that moment she truly represented the spirit of Saint Andrew’s, and she faithfully continued in that role until the day of her death on November 24, 2008.  There was nothing that she would not do for Saint Andrew’s or for any one of the members of our church community.  May served in every conceivable capacity: Vestry member, treasurer, choir member, altar guild member, ECW member, member of our HOPE Ministry Interim Task Force, and with Tom, her husband of 62 years, delegate to the annual Diocesan Convention for 24 years.  She was always there, and it was such a comfort to us all.

When I first began as Vicar of Saint Andrew’s Church, we could only afford to pay me to work ¼ time.  So I would arrive on Wednesday afternoons to meet with May and plan for the coming week.  She usually had just picked up the mail at the Post Office, so we would go through that first.  You could almost say that she was our Assistant Vicar.  She helped to make the whole thing work, and that could be a difficult and time consuming job!  Our pot luck luncheons and dinners have always been the best, and May was always a part of the team that made them happen.

There are so many memories of May that it would take hours to describe them all.  Sharing a few with you will have to suffice.  In 1996 Arthur and I had the privilege of attending May and Tom’s 50^th Wedding Anniversary Party at the Washington Duke Hotel in Durham.  They had a live band, and she and Arthur danced and danced and danced.  They both had a ball!

Attending Diocesan Convention with her and Tom was always an eye-opener.  I think she must have known everyone there, and she made it a point to introduce me to them all!  Bishop Hunt Williams always referred to May as Mrs. Saint Andrew.

In 1997 we had our first yard sale on a Saturday.  I had to leave early.  When I returned the next day to conduct the Sunday service, I discovered that half of the goods had not sold and were lying in the side yard by our storage building.  I fussed and fumed about it, so May got on the phone, and by the time I left to head back to Raleigh, May had gotten it hauled off.  There was literally nothing that she couldn’t do.

When the effects of Alzheimer’s began to surface in my Mom, May took her under her wing, took her to lunch regularly, and visited with her in Raleigh.  When my Mom had to sell her house, and her possessions were going to be divided among me and my two brothers, May stood up for my interests and made sure that there was a fair distribution of the assets.  I have thanked her many times for looking after me.

We are all deeply grateful for May’s contributions to our joint mission and ministry here.  She has left a mark that can never be erased.  We will never forget what she has done with us and for us.

The following is an email to John Gibson, one of May and Tom’s sons, from Lorraine Besch, the wife of a cousin.  I shows us how much this wonderful woman has affected us all:  “I was and am so very sorry to hear the sad news about your Mom.  Bill forwarded your email to me, and I wanted to relate to you how your Mom made me feel when I entered the Gibson clan!!  Your sweet Mom, from the very beginning, made me feel so welcome and treated me as though she had known me all her life.  I was not a stranger or just Bill’s new wife, but a family member and one who was loved very completely.  I can see your Mom’s beautiful smile as I write this to you, and I can feel her warmth as though she is standing right beside me.  I am a better person for knowing and loving your Mom.  I miss her, and I know that she will be missed by all who knew her.  God bless your lovely Mom as I know He will, and God bless all of you at this sorrowful time.  All my love, Lorri.”

As a part of our 75^th Anniversary celebration this year, Arthur interviewed many of our church founders and made digital recordings of the interviews.  His interview with May and Tom was outstanding.  May spoke of how much Saint Andrew’s meant to her, that it was her family and that she loved every member.  Portions of this interview and of others digitally recorded by Arthur will be posted on our web site in the next few weeks.

May always used to say that there was an angel perched on her shoulder looking after her interests and protecting her from harm.  As we reflect on what May has meant to us, I think we will all realize that she has become our protective angel, sitting on our shoulders, looking after us and protecting us.  May’s life was a testament to how generosity and serving others can change people, change Saint Andrew’s, and even change the world.  We are so grateful for what she has given us, and for the change she has wrought in us.

And now we offer our final thanks to Tom, May’s husband of 62 years.  For several years now, he has been a loyal and devoted Care Giver, ensuring that May knew she was loved and ensuring that May got the best care available.  Tom, thank you.

May you are now in the everlasting arms of your Creator.  For 84 years you served and worshiped your Creator while on this earth.  Now you have all eternity to finish the job.  God bless you.  AMEN.